The FABULOUS My Immortal COMMENTARY! :)
by Your's Truly BriAnna
Summary: Hi, its me, BriAnna, and after reading a few commentaries, I decided that it was my turn to poke fun at the FAMOUS my immortal! Rated M for what Tara calls "Sex Scenes" and "Language" and just to be safe
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everybody! I'm sure most have you read the FABULOUS story My Immortal! So after reading a few commentaries, I decided that it was my turn to start poking fun at the EXCEPTIONAL work of Tara Gilesbie! Without any further ado, here it is!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own My Immortal, (And I'm glad of it) but I DO own the parts in bold! :)  
**

**Yours Truly,  
**

**BriAnna  
**

* * *

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (geddit, coz Im goffik)**(Wow! I do "geddit"! Tara, you are so funny!)** 2 my gf (ew not in that way) (**Yes, and I also have a girlfriend, **_**not in that way).**_ raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling**(Raven, dear, you might want to help your friend a little more.)**. U rok! Justin**()** ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!**(Hate to lie, but Tara is telling the truth about this)**

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness **(I think you put the extra apostrophe to make your "name" sound beautiful and exotic).** Dementia Raven Way**(Ah…nothing smells like Mary Sue with three middle names!)** and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name)**(I feel awfully sorry for you. I honestly don't think it's normal for a baby to have a full head of hair when they came out. I'm surprised your parents didn't talk to your doctor.)** with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back **(They're dyed, right?)** and icy blue eyes like limpid tears **(WOW! This girl deserves an award for the most wanna-be poetic sentence! Also, dear, I hope you know that limpid means clear, and tears are already clear, soo…)** and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee**(Oh, I'm sorry. For a second I actually thought you were Rosie O'Donnell. Hehe, sorry, 'bout that.)** (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).**(dammit, I'm stuck here. Elizabeth, we need to plan an escape party!)** I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. **(Because there's nothing like fresh incest in the morning! Oh and did I mention, Three headed babies, anyone?)** I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. **(Yep because most vampires have purple buck teeth! God, Ebony, you are so special!)** I have pale white skin**(But, don't most vampires have blue skin? God, Ebony, you're so special!)**. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England **(I didn't know that England also had a Hogwarts! Geez, I thought that Scotland was the only place who had Hogwarts.)**where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen)**(Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed that you were 13 years old, because most wannabees are about that age.)**. I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) **(But…I thought you were a pinkalicious girly girl…)**and I wear mostly black**(Don't they like to wear orange?). **I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. **(Honey, Hot Topic sells band t-shirts and skinny jeans. That's practically it)**For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink **(yep because pink is the most "goffik" color there is!)** fishnets and black combat boots **(Way to be a slut)**. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation **(So you want to be like one of those creepy kimono girls or something?),** black eyeliner and red eye shadow. **(Yes Ebony, that sounds very attractive)** I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining **(It's called sleet, hun.)** so there was no sun, which I was very happy about **(this way you wouldn't sparkle in the sun like a gay fairy! Hint hint)**. A lot of preps stared at me. **(Well, you kinda ARE wearing the most slutty clothes that are obviously AGAINST the Hogwarts dress code. I'm surprised they didn't catch you yet.)** I put up my middle finger at them**. (But…what did they ever do to you? ****)  
**  
"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!**(That was the most suspenseful line I've ever read. Seriously, I was shivering)**

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly. **(Draco? Shy? What kind of world is this!)**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.**(Without saying goodbye? Sheesh, way to be a bitch.)**

AN: IS it good?**(I've read Better)** PLZ tell me fangz!

* * *

**Well, wasn't that quite an adventure? Well, anywho, thanks so much for reading this.**

**Rate, Follow, Favorite, Share, and most importantly, REVIEW!  
**

**Free e-cookies if you review!  
**

**Yours Truly,  
**

**BriAnna  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, here's the second chapter. Two chapters in one day? Well, I decided to post two chapters the first day as a welcome basket. Hope you enjoy!**

**Yours Truly,  
**

**BriAnna**

* * *

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz**(I get it, honey, adding a z to the end of fang and substituting it for "thanks" automatically makes you cool!)**2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta**(Raven, you still have a chance to escape!)**! BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok**(You're the society definition of a poser****)**

The next day I woke up in my bedroom**(Wow! How do you do that! You gotta teach me, because I have a serious problem of waking up inside toasters and toilettes)**. It was snowing and raining again **(Ebony, dear, I thought I already told you that this kind of weather is sleet. Sheesh, were you paying any attention?)**. I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had**(I didn't know that Hogwarts sold blood filled bottles.)**. My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink **(Yep, 'cause nothing is more "goffik" than the color pink!)**velvet with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. **(Sounds terribly uncomfortable, and slutty. Why don't you follow the dress code? You're gonna be in trouble…Don't say I didn't warn you)** I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.**(Eh, four pairs you say?)** My friend, Willow**(Awesome name! No really, I actually love that name ****)**(AN: Raven dis is u!) woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink**('Cause pink is the most "GOFFIK" color ever!)** streaks and opened her forest-green eyes.**(You're friend did all of that, while closing her eyes? Willow, you got a lot to teach me)** She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. **(And now, I've lost interest in this character…)** We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation**(Again with the white foundation) **and black eyeliner.)

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly. **(Did she actually say, Oh Em Eff Gee, or Oh my fuckin' god? Either way, sounds preppy to me)  
**  
"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.**(fact: vampires have no blood in their veins and are therefore unable to blush!)**

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.**(How bipolar can you get? First you were blushing for him, now you're screaming? Sheesh, girl, you need to control those emotions!)** "Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily. **(But I thought you didn't like him. Huh, I must be losing it or something)  
**  
"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me**. (A MUGGLE band in a WIZARD village that DRACO is a fan of? My goodness.)**

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. **(Okay then…good luck paying for the admission)**I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR. **  
**  
"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.**(PERECT WAY TO END A CHAPTER!)**


	3. Chapter 3

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!**(Technically, you're only telling preps to stop reviewing. And since preps don't usually bother with fanfiction...well, good luck with that)** odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws! **(these "goffik" reviewers must be horrible writers themselves, or they like anything they read...) **FANGS AGEN RAVEN!**(Raven, you still have a chance!)** oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis**(Oh, dear, Tara. You could have spared yourself and your friend if you let the original author post this herself.)** or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.**(If you did, then, god help us all.)**

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels Underneath them were ripped red fishnets.**(Well, red is still a totally "GOFFIK" color!) **Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front.**(Ebony, you need to expand your wardrobe. I'm pretty sure you shouldn't just wear boots with high heels, fishnets, and corset minidress) **I put on matching fishnet on my arms.**(Oh my god. You've got to teach me how to take of dress sleves, and put them on my arms!) **I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky**.(How did you do that? I mean, it's not exactly possible unless you put on SOME kind of gel. Girl, you got ALOT to teach me) **I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists**(Well, it's not like you have any blood).** I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding **(I stand corrected...)** and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner.**(That's sure attractive Ebony.)** Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway**(Finally, you listen!). **I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.**(And where exactly did you get it? This wizard world doesn't exactly have any street vendors selling this stuff...)**

I went outside. Draco wash waiting there in front of his flying car.**(You shouldn't date thieves)** He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too), baggy black skater pants**(So is he a skater boy or "goffik")** black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).**(If you mean the eyeliner, then yes. I know alot of awesome guys that wear it. But if you mean the nail polish, uh, you shouldn't get your hopes up)**

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice. **(How did you do that? Ebony, you seriously need to teach me how to exclaim something positive in a "depressed" voice! Really, my drama teacher would love it!)**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666)**(I think your broomsticks are faster. And Draco, you might wanna change your licence plate number because I don't think "666" is a legal licence plate number. You don't want the cops chasing you..)**and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs. **('Cause smokin' and drugs is so "GOFFIK"!)**When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.**(I don't think Tara has actually been in a mosh pit...)**

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life." sang Joel**(The chronicles of life and death! I actually like that song.)** (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).**(You probably wouldn't be wasting your time on fanfiction if you did)**

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco **(May I remind you that you're kinda on a date with this guy, and if you don't want Draco to dump you, I suggest you keep your comments to yourself)**, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.**(Since when did hogsmeade have any clubs?)**

Suddenly Draco looked sad.**(Hmm...I wonder why...)**

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music. Then I caught on.**(Hey took you long enough to realize you made one of the WORST first date mistakes!)**

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.**(Sure sounded like you did)**

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.**(What's he protecting you from? Evil flies that eat rainbows?)**

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff**(I like Hilary Duff. She rocks. But Joel Madden is married to Nicole Richie now, so...). **I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.**(Hilary has blonde hair yes, but at the time this story was made, Hilary was actually very pretty.)**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them. **(I'm sorry, but I don't think celebrities do "meet and greets" with fans)** We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled **(I thought you two were seventeen years old...)**back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!**(Oh, my god. The suspence! I can't wait to hear about your "adventures" in the Forbidden Forest!)**

* * *

**Well, that's that. **


End file.
